FEELING KEJAP!

Malam2 ni rasanya sayu aje. Nak feeling semacam aje. Biasalah kayak si pungguk rindukan bulan. Pokoknya, bulan enggak muncul. Karena bulan tak taste ngn pungguk. Kesian si pungguk yg bernama 'aku'. Sob sob sob! Maka si pungguk pun layan lagu 'Tapi Bukan aku' dinyanyikan sang pujangga bernama 'KerisPatih'.

Jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku

ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka

tak ingin ku paksakan cinta ini meski

tiada sanggup untuk kau terima

aku memang manusia paling berdosa

khianati rasa demi keinginan semu

lebih baik jangan mencintaiku aku

dan semua hatikukarena takkan

pernah kau temui, cinta sejati

reff:berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini

dan jangan kau tangisi lagi sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali

padamu sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma

sebab rasa ku tlah mati untuk menyadarinya
semoga saja kan kau dapati

hati yg tulus mencintaimu tapi bukan aku
repeat reff

Lirik lagu ini menyentuh banget umpama puisi yg menyentuh si pungguk. Memang keren! Sedih teramat. Kesian ya si pungguk a.k.a. si beruk. Apa salahnya kan beruk. Janji kau happy dengan cara kau. Me too. Masih merindukan si bulan yg tak kunjung tiba.

NOTHING!

Here I am, sitting comfortably on my bed, staring blankly at my laptop, while the tv is playing Grey's Anatomy and my radio is playing HotFM. I have a mental block now. Dunno what to write. But i guess i had to write something. Hey, what i'm doing now. I AM writing. Let's see. What about my day today? Today is like any other day at work. Busy as usual. Interviewing not so great candidate. Why can't I find a credible male (cute) employee?

Then, it was the moment when I had to break news to my staff (freelancer) that I'm not renewing her contract. I felt so bad but I had to. Somebody has to break the news to her. I can feel her sadness but I had to since it is a mandate by the company to not renew contract for freelancers.

Other than that, my bff who was having crisis with his bf, has finally kissed and made up with bf. As much as i want his happiness, but deep inside, i wish i could have my bff back. I pretty much lost all my bffs the moment they have bf. I do envy them. Why i can't be like them? Happy with their other half. But it just pissed me off with the fact that they will always come back to me whenever they quarelled with their bf. I was like their 'agony aunt'. A problem solver.

I dun want to be selfish but i'm starting to. Why can't my life be about me, not them?

Hidung tak mancung, pipi tersorong-sorong!

What does it mean? In my book, it means "jangan terhegeh2". I have been terhegeh2 all my life (I think). Terhegeh2 suka pada orang yg kita suka padahal orang tu tak suka kita langsung ataupun 'suam suam kuku' aje dgn kita. Kita aje yg perasan lebih atau syok sendiri. Tapi biasalah tu kan, syok sendiri coz everyone craves for something that they long for and wish for and fancy.

Including me. Tak serik2. That's what my friends have been telling me since Day 1. Seperti orang lain, aku nak juga menyukai seseorang yang aku fancy dengan harapan orang tu akan menyukai kita juga. Tapi tak semuanya tercapai. For me at least. I guess i'm juz unlucky compared to my friends. They can easily get the guy of their dreams. Maybe i'm bad luck (dah tercop di dahi). Or am i juz out of luck?

Dunno! Maybe. Maybe not. You know what. i think i should make a stand for myself. Not to 'terhegeh-hegeh' anymore. Just take life as it is. Kalau ada orang suka, ok lah. Kalau tak ada pun, just move on. After all, i'm not 17 going to 34. I AM 34! So, life doesn't have to be that complicated. So, let's not make my life more complicated than it is now. Think about me. My career. My mum. My nephews. My new apartment. My traveling plans. My new car (maybe).