Kenapa bukan aku?

Aku masih tertanya2 kenapa hidup aku tidak seindah atau semudah plu yang lain? Kisah cinta aku tiada yg indahnya. Aku masih tidak mahu menerima hakikat yang teman2 plu aku yang lain punya boyfriend yg muda dan cute. Teman2 plu aku tidaklah sehandsome mana. Salah seorang daripada mereka adalah bergigi 'mancung' a.k.a. jongang. Malah, aku yakin aku lagi menarik daripada mereka.

Yang menghairankan aku, the cute boyfriends are the ones suka pada teman2 aku and not the other way around. Pelik ya. Taste manusia sekarang amat berbeza. Yang cute suka pada yang jelek. Aku pun kurang pasti apa yang mereka mahukan. Wang? aku mau aje laungkan kepada dunia yang aku butuhkan boyfriend yg cute. kadang2 lewat malam, aku pasti menangis sendirian di kamar. aku feel so much like a loser.

Mungkin ada benarnya kata2 teman plu aku yang aku ini 'vicious', 'cold hearted' dan karena itu, ramai yang takut kepada aku dan karena itu jugalah tiada orang yang suka sama aku. Tapi, aku juga manusia. punya hati. punya perasaan. punya keinginan. punya impian. punya hasrat. punya mimpi. punya harapan. punya cita2. punya matlamat. punya hak. hak untuk bercinta. hak untuk dicintai. Kenapa mereka? kenapa bukan aku?

REJECTION KILLS!

I was rejected last night. I'm so sad right now. He told me i wasn't his type. But, the truth is, why he even bother to come down to KL to meet me if i'm not his type in the first place. Pelik Bin Ajaib. Very weird. So insanely absurd that some people would do such thing. He doesn't even have the "balls" to say to me upfront. But, instead, he send me an SMS "rejecting" me.

Some people are just unbelievable. That saying or statement "I don't go for looks. It's what inside that counts. Your heart matters. Saya tak melihat pada paras rupa. Yang penting hati yang ikhlas dan jujur. " What a croak of shits! Bullshit! That's how I summarize these types of people. Manusia ini ternyata bodoh. Manusia ini bodoh. Tapi yang membezakan kebodohan itu ialah rasional dan logika. I am myself a human, a manusia but yang membezakan aku dengan manusia lain ialah logik. Kalau niat atau nawaitu ikhlas, berlaku jujur is the best. Honesty is always the best policy.

The hardest part of putting myself out there looking for love, dating is - rejection. It just feels awful. But, people still are superficial. They base on your looks before factoring little details about you. and most of the time, they are rejecting you before you reject them. They take people at face value. If they are looking for Brad Pitt, they might as well "take a hike".

All I can say is that this is not my first rejection. This is my first for 2008. I should open my own "Reject Shop" with every corner of my shops describing how i was being rejected. It is become so popular that people will come to my shop which is essentially a cafe and not a shop that the cafe would be a hotspot for people who have been rejected to dine and share something in common. I should do that. Always remember, "people never reject the real you". It's their loss actually. They reject what they imagine you to be before they ever really have the chance to know the real you.